Month: June 2009

Just as part of being productive is taking control over those areas where we can exert some control, so too is letting go of those areas where we can’t. Here are some examples of areas where we squander our productivity by spending time and effort trying to control something that isn’t controllable.
1.
Traffic. You can certainly make choices about how you travel somewhere as well as the times you travel by car, but you cannot control the traffic itself. Let it go.
2.
Weather. Railing against the skies when the weather isn’t what you “ordered” makes you look more than a bit silly.
3.
Airline schedules. After 9/11, I calmed right down. It’s not that I’m not disappointed sometimes when my plane is cancelled or delayed, but, I recognized that these events aren’t in my control. Having a good book or a charged up cell phone is in my control so I try to use these times well.
4.
Our in-laws (or our own parents!) HA! Better learn this one.
5.
Other people’s beliefs. You can influence others but you cannot change anyone else’s belief system.
6.
Other people’s attitudes. Your attitude can affect others but you can’t change their attitudes.
7.
Other people’s ethics. Ditto. If someone else’s ethics are causing you great distress, then figure out how to get out of the situation, fast.
8.
Other people’s emotions. Good communication can help you find out what others’ emotions might be, but you can’t *change* them.
9.
Other people’s parenting. Watching other people make mistakes as parents is just part of life…and again, you can influence some people but most others you are observing are not particularly interested in your feedback….so just do the best job you can with your own children (or nieces & nephews).
10.
Other people’s politics. As never before, this seems to be an area where we can’t change anyone. We need to do our part to vote our beliefs and our politics and effect change that way. We sure can’t control anyone else’s politics.
Do you notice a pattern? The last 7 in particular are “other people.”
The best you can hope for is to influence other people, but controlling them is out of the question. For some of you reading this, you can regain hours each week by letting go of worry, time, and effort trying to control any of the ten items listed above. Print this out so you have it for a handy reference.

Risk and Reward: “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”– Robert F. Kennedy “I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not.”– Lucille Ball “…the creator of the new composition in the arts is an outlaw until he is a classic.”- Gertrude Stein”A fool is someone whose pencil wears out before its eraser does.”– Marilyn vos Savant “He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.”– Samuel Smiles “Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you somebody who has never achieved much.”– Joan Collins “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”– Woody Allen “However well organized the foundations of life may be, life must always be full of risks.”– Havelock Ellis “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not taking risks, and that means you’re not going anywhere. The key is to make mistakes faster than the competition, so you have more changes to learn and win.”– John W. Holt, Jr. “If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.”– Julia Soul “Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a fish.”– Ovid “Far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory, nor defeat.”– Theodore Roosevelt “Of course we all have our limits, but how can you possibly find your boundaries unless you explore as far and as wide as you possibly can? I would rather fail in an attempt at something new and uncharted than safely succeed in a repeat of something I have done.”– A.E. Hotchner “And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”– Erica Jong “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”– Elbert Hubbard “Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.”– Mary Tyler Moore “Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozy, and don’t be afraid to hit the ball.”– Billie Jean King “Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”– Scott Adams “Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”– Frank Zappa “To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.”– Anatole France “To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything.”– Anatole France “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”– Albert Einstein “All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.”– Barbara Grizzuti Harrison”Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The “sure thing” boat never gets far from shore.”– Dale Carnegie “Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.”– Mark Twain “If you wait for opportunities to occur, you will be one of the crowd.”– Edward de Bono “You can’t cross the sea merely by staring at the water.”– Rabindranath Tagore “He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea.”– Thomas Fuller “A ship in harbor is safe, But that is not what ships are built for.”- unknown “Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”– James B. Conant “Self-confidence is the result of a successfully survived risk.”– Jack Gibb “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson “Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”– Frank Scully “Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated, or blown off course for awhile. Plain sailing is pleasant, but you are not going to explore many unknown realms that way.”– David Whyte “Always do what you are afraid to do.”– Ralph Waldo “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”– Walter Bagehot “My mother gave me a bumblebee pin when I started work. She said: ‘Aerodynamically, bees shouldn’t be able to fly. But they do. Remember that.'”– Jill E. Barad “Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was.”– Dag Hammarskjold “If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.”– Mario Andretti”We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.”– Martha Grimes “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”– Maureen Dowd “Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.”– Frederick Wilcox “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”– Dennis Waitley “Commit yourself to a dream. Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life’s most important battle – he defeated the fear of trying.”– Robert Schuller “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.”– Denis Waitley To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach for another is to risk involvement.To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To believe is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken,because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free. ~ Anonymous Chicago teacher